How I Met Teri - Part 3 - Gonna Take it Out

As soon as they released I drove strait out of there. I knew I had some quick changes to make. It was time to stop messing around with stupid things. From the way they all looked at me, from the medical staff to other patients, I knew this just might be it. One of the first things I did was make it a priority to spend time with my family and closet friends.

To me, there's nothing more important than family, and I'd never spent enough time being with them before. When I was in my twenties I was too focused on my own brand of crazy, and married to my first wife to boot. My thirties where my "bachelor years," and that's all I need say about that. Thinking the clock was ticking I could no longer waste time.



It was also comforting beyond explaining, especially after they told me it looked like I had aggressive stomach cancer. Instead of scheduling a biopsy, they set up to carve into me and take the whole thing out. I had less than four weeks until surgery from the time they found it. I was told that, worst case, I'd be dead in around 6 months. Also, that in removing it, they may have to take out my entire stomach. So, even if it's not cancer I could end up not being able to eat ever again. I appreciated the blunt worst case appraisal. I allowed me to prepare myself.



I will never, ever be able to repay all the love and support I received from friends, family and even strangers. There are too many to name individually, but if any of you read this, thank you.

How I Met Teri - Part 2 - A Fel Wind Blows

So how did my shooting a crazy, late winter jaunt into the world of indoor arena bull riding lead me to marrying this amazing woman? Let me see if I can explain something about myself as I illustrate how one lead to the other.

The Monday after that shoot I went back to work at the museum, like I had for going on 15 years. That's not quit accurate, buy this time I was well underway in trying to find a viable avenue out. I wanted to be a shooter, and I carried my Canon 10D everywhere I went. I'd also made friends with a proshooter, who seemed interested in giving me pointers and advice. We'd even begun to talk about long range business goals. Of course, I also had a major dose of the excitement I usually get when I'm on the cusp of a new direction. In the past, it's been know to cause headaches.

So anyway, two weeks passed and I'd begun to feel very ill. More than usual, but being stubborn I kept pushing on. I'd spend at day working at the museum, then at night spend as much time as possible shooting, exploring. I didn't want to admit I was really feeling down. Then, at the end of those two weeks, I hit a wall.

As I sat in my office I realized I couldn't breath. Seems I'd caught bronchitis from breathing in all those wonderful bluish hazed manure clouds. I called my doctor and they instructed me to call an ambulance. Ambulance? What drama, I don't think so.

I decided I was going to walk. The hospital was only a few blocks away. Unfortunately, I'd neglected to consider it was also uphill. A walk that usually takes all of 10 minutes, if that, took me 45!

So they admit right away when they saw I couldn't breath at all. Security also took my camera, which was in my hand as usual. A short time later an intern is telling me I had bronchitis but he wanted to run a CAT Scan, as routine.

Not long afterward, as I sat in a room with two other folks, I spotted my intern. He was in tow of another, older man and looked worried. Looking into the eyes of the older Doctor I knew it was going to be bad news. After asking me a number of questions, and lots of poking around my chest he said something that changed my life.

"Mr. Lutz, the CAT Scan has revealed a massive tumor the size of a softball under your ribs. I don't want to alarm you, but we're keeping you over night."



When the doctor actually went to get my camera from security I knew he saw a dead man walking. The other two patients, who'd been constantly bitching and moaning before I was told this, were so quiet I couldn't hear them breath. I remember calling my mother...

The only bed they could find me for the night was in the liver transplant ward. After some medication, I could breath again and I was feeling a lot better. I couldn't sleep of course, I never even undressed from my street clothes. I just walked around and around, talking to patients, all of whom were so ill. One poor soul was in for his second tranplant. They'd all ask me what I was doing there. After saying they'd found a mass in my chest, these so very ill people would give me that look. The one that says, "damn, you've had it."



I watched the sun rise over Oakland, Pittsburgh. A section of the city I'd spent nearly 20 years of my life existing. The storms from the previous night, which I'd watched to intently, had blown away. I didn't panic, I just waited until they released me so I could go home.

How I Met Teri - Part 1

So all this alone time, packing up stuff and working on the house has made me particularly reflective. As I wrapped up our art pieces for storage I couldn't help but think about my wife, Teri. Our 5th wedding anniversary is coming up in less than two weeks. The time has gone by so very fast. It's been the happiest I've ever been in my life.

I thought I'd write about how we met. It's a bit of a long story, so I'll break it up into parts. The first part will be a bit of back story and will begin in the oddest of places, a rodeo arena.



In early 2006 I was on the verge of heading off in a new direction in my life. After years of working at the Carnegie Museum in the exhibits department I was ready for a change in career paths. I'd fallen in love with photography and was actively seeking a way to do so fulltime. It wasn't just work related changes though.

My 30's were my "bachelor years." They were adventurous times, with a mixed success rate as far as relationships went. As I approached 40 I'd reached a point where I no longer wished to be in poisonous entanglements. I just wanted to be alone for a while. I had a few different female "friends" and it was all I wanted at the time. I'd accepted I'd be going solo and really stopped worrying about dating, etc. Of course, my friends wouldn't hear it. They started trying to get me to "meet" a friend of theirs.

All of my focus was on shooting, to the point were I was looking for any sort of crazy project I could assign myself. Through I friend I was invited to spend a weekend traveling with an ex-Omish bull rider. Who knew there was an entire indoor rodeo culture here in Pennsylvania? I sure didn't!



I spent a couple of days traveling with an ex-Omish rider named Aaron and his girlfriend and buddies. It was quite the adventure into the PA cowboy culture. I swear, I had no idea there was one! Indoor arenas filled with blue smoke, smelling of manure and chewing tobacco, carousing in bars after an arena event, crazy antics late at night on small farms, and the sounds of people "knocking boots" filled my weekend in very unusual ways.



Needless to say it was a weekend I'll never, ever forget as long as I live. I met some interesting people, as well as saw a lot of interesting things. It was a trip into a culture I hadn't experienced before and I felt honored to have been given such intimate access to.

How does this relate to how I met my wife? I'll explain that in a later post...

Leaving Moraine Behind

After picking up some tools from my father I took quick spin around Moraine State Park. It never occurred to me how sad it would make to leave this particular patch of ground. I've been coming to this lake since I was a little kid. It was created around the time I was born in fact. There's a connection I feel with it I cannot explain. So many memories. It's the one place I think I'll miss the most outside of family homes.

A Hand in My Chest

Coming back to an empty house was a lot harder than I thought. All I can see are "ghosts" of the past. For the first couple of days I had trouble sleeping, and just walking around the place makes me feel as if there's a hand in my chest, squeezing. It's as if I've lost them, even though I know there in Mount Horeb, and I'll see them again. It all happened to fast! From the time I met Teri until now has been a blur. It's hard to work on the house.



I took a short drive just to get out of the house. I made the mistake of going to Mount Odin Park, where I took this photo. It was a mistake to go there. This was the park that Freja and I went to the most. On the way back from grocery shopping we'd often play here before going home. I've not felt this sense of melancholy in many, many years. All I could do is reminisce.



I have to snap out of it...

A New Frontier

Three days in the new town and I get my first shoot. How cool is that? The house inspector's wife owns JJ's Home, et cetra, a boutique on Main Street. They needed a photo taken of a special troll carving that's making the rounds of the local shops. All I had was my 35 f/1.4L and one flash head. I'd traveled very light, leaving all my gear back in PA.

They wanted to highlight the fact they're the exclusive Trollbeads seller in the area. While it's not the best shot technically, I think I was able to do OK for a "punt" shoot. After arranging the scene just so, I had the store owner hold my flash head, bouncing off the ceiling and using plan paper as a modifier. The idea was to make it look like light from a large window off to the side.

I have to admit it was fun. If only I'd had the right gear...



It was also nice to get to know someone from the town. So far everyone I've met has been really pleasant and easy to interact with. I've even gotten a good dose of gossip on people I don't know yet! It's going to be interesting to live in small town where folks seem to know each other well. We'll always be "that Pittsburgh couple" I'm sure.

I think this will be a great place to base my business from. Of course, it will be a while before I'm truly in the air. I have to begin with the basics, like finding a CPA to help me understand WI tax laws. Fortunately the owner's of this particular store have one in their family. It'll be my first stop when I begin to set up.

There's a great sense of excitement as I think about the various directions I hope to explore and expand upon. There's an entire new region for me to work in! I've taken the time to review just about all the local photographers' sites, both here in this town and in Madison itself. There's a lot of talent, and artist skill to be had. My style is somewhat different though. It's not better, but I may be able to offer something else. Hiring a shooter is like hiring a portrait painter. One may specialize in abstract, another impressionism while another high realism. It's entirely subjective, based on the taste of the consumer.

With time, I think I'll do very well here.

House Inspection

After dropping Freja off at school we went to the house we plan on moving into come spring. We went for the house inspection, and just to see the house again of course. We just love this home! Both of us really appreciate Arts & Crafts style houses. To have found one that we both love, in a town we both like, seems like destiny.



What was especially wonderful was getting to know the current owner a little better. She told us all about the neighborhood, and the quirks of the house. We're hoping to get to know her a little more. It would be especially nice to learn all there is to know about the place from someone who's been there for 40 years.